Original Blog: Learning to accept oneself
Use this practice on a regular basis to develop your acceptance of what is and who you are. The aim of this practice is to provide you with key reflections.
Feel free to print the worksheet, putting things down on paper would help you analyze better
In the last practice, I invited you to understand your mental models. Now, you can start to practice acceptance.
Accepting oneself is not trying to fix or change ourselves. It is not fighting or arguing against reality or what is. Accepting is letting be of who we are and the perceived situation.
Here is a list of questions to help you:
You are doing your best
List at least 10 things that proof that you are doing your best:
e.g. I am going to a SAP formation every week, I am applying the advice my colleague gave me
Learning is a slow process
A funny fact about learning is that once we know something we tend to forget how we learned it. We just know that we know.
- Think about a skill you now have. e.g speaking a language, using a complex software, playing an music instrument
- Try to remember how long it took you to remember it. e.g. I learned German in 1,5 Year.
- Try to remember what kept you motivated in difficult times. e.g. The desire to find a job in Germany whatever it takes
- What is your conclusion now? e.g. If I know why I am learning something. I can keep learning even when I do not feel like it.
- Do the same exercise for something you aimed to learn but never did. What is the difference?
You are unique with and without the failure
It is important to disconnect ourselves from our failures but not that easy to do. Furthermore, accusing other or circumstances for our failure is not serving us either. Let’s try the following reflection:
- Make a list of the 3 failures you faced lately.
- In what extent my behavior participated to this failure?
- Am I sure the failure is only because of me?
- Am I not accusing others to discharge me from guilt?
- Who am I with and without the failure?
Write a sentence like this one: I am a good person with or without the epic fail I had when managing the last project at work.
- You cannot control the exterior world
We often hear the sentence: “We cannot control the world.” It is sometimes too theoretical so:
- Make a list of at least 10 things you cannot control
- Make a list of at least 10 things you can control
- How do you feel about it?
If you feel a negative emotion or argue about the content of both list it may mean that you are not accepting what is. Why is it so?
Remind yourself of who you are
This is a philosophical reflection. Who are you? What makes you unique? You are definitely not your name, your culture, your religion, your thoughts. My belief is following and this is just a belief. So we can agree to disagree here:
I am the observers. I am the one saying I am feeling an emotion. I am thinking a thought. I am breathing. I am not any label that was put on me. I fit in no boxes and no definitions. I am connected with the rest of the world through the commonalities we have: atoms and the infinite small. I am a soul experiencing a human life.
Who are you?